I love my new #huaweip20 phone because it has a great camera and, for the first time in years, I’m getting a few photos of me that I actually like. But of course I don’t really look like the me in a cleverly lit portrait most of the time.
I actually look more like this!
I’ve got a round (aka fat) face, a few wrinkles and real skin. According to the scary BMI chart I could do with losing at least two stone. My teeth aren’t perfect and my life isn’t perfect. I worry what people think about me and carry around a fairly constant feeling that I’m not good enough: as a mum, a wife, a business owner, a friend. I won’t talk about mental health here but let’s just say that, as with so many of us, mine is not always great.
I started my blog a few weeks ago because I wanted to write about bits and pieces in my life that I thought could interest a few other people. But I’ve struggled to post because I’m not sure what people want to read. Will they like it? How honest should I be? Will I gain (or lose insta followers)? Does my bum look big?
My first post was ‘easy’ because I had a brief. It was more like a work project than a personal diary entry.
But I’ve not posted since. I’ve been too anxious to write another blog entry in case it’s not right. But what is ‘right’? So my very wise husband said, “Well write about that feeling then” so hence this post.
We all want people to like us and, in real life, the good people will accept us even if we are having a really bad hair/skin/clothes/mental health day. Those are the ones we need in our lives.
But social media is all about instant gratification. We mostly double-tap to like an insta pic within seconds of seeing it; without reading the explanation or story below. So it’s important to show the best version of ourselves isn’t it?
Quite frankly, I’m finding it all a bit tiring and occasionally stressful. Of course I want the world to see me looking at my most fabulous (thanks again to the Huawei phone) but it hurts my feelings when people don’t appear to like pics of my beautiful son (my proudest thing) or my cute puppy or my carefully put together outfit.
AND HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT???
I would love to meet some of the truly awesome women I engage with on Instagram because they have some amazing stories to tell and are wonderful role models. But the vast majority of insta-uses will remain just ‘handles’ to me; the odd like here or there perhaps even a follow. But they’re not my proper friends.
Real life is where it’s at so my Instagram Grid will continue to reflect the balance of my life. Okay I’ll select the slightly shinier and less wrinkled pics, but they’ll be the pics that reflect the real me.
Please like me… or don’t.