I have a love/hate relationship with my breasts. They are large: there’s no getting away from that fact.
There have been brief periods of time, for example when I was single and slim in my early 30s and used to go out clubbing on a Saturday night with my bestie, that I liked the attention they received. I even had a particular black top which was known as ‘the pulling top’ because it had a lowish v neck (nothing compared to today’s Love Island terms you understand, but it showed a bit of cleavage). It also had a red trim which seemed to draw attention to the girls. But when men are looking at your chest rather than your face, it soon becomes wearing.
Currently, according to the bra-fitting gurus at @Bravissimo, I’m a size 34GG. So what that means is, I’m really a size 14 on the top, but my mahoosive hooters push me up to a 16. And size 16 tops still often pull across the chest and show off my back fat.
Posture is another problem. I’m guessing it’s like really tall people who end up slouching to try and make themselves look shorter? Over the years I’ve developed a bad habit of letting my shoulders roll forwards rather than standing upright; that way my boobs are slightly less prominent.
But here’s the thing. Even at 49, I get complimented on my ‘great boobs’ by female friends and acquaintances and I know that many of them would gladly go up a few cup sizes. Isn’t it weird how we all want something different?
I’ve been lucky enough to take several lovely women shopping through my job over the past few weeks. As they’ve been trying on dresses a familiar comment has been; “I haven’t got the boobs for that”, or “it’s lovely, but designed for people with bigger boobs”.
I wore a beautiful black and white dress to the Royal Norfolk Show last week. It was from Hobbs in House of Fraser last year and I’d only worn it once before. It’s floaty, elegant and – with one shoulder bare – dare I say it, even a little bit sexy. BUT all I could see in photographs that I asked my husband to take before the event, was a pair of massive, out of proportion breasts. I was feeling quite upset by the time I was ready to leave the house.
I got lots of compliments during the day but still kept comparing myself to the beautiful, tall, supermodel-esque girls I was spending the day with.
For the most part, I know how to dress for my shape. V-necks are great for larger boobs and I know how to create that essential V with a long necklace or other accessories. But sometimes, even following the rules doesn’t help with the self-consciousness that comes with a large (or indeed a small) chest. Just to say here that I’ve also got friends who have been through breast cancer and reconstructive surgery, so please don’t think I’m being flippant about this. Our breasts are a very wonderful, intimate and personal part of our physique as females.
I’m happy with my size, most of the time. I enjoy food far too much to want to stew over points or calories or ‘fast days’. So what do I do? Spend £10k on breast reduction surgery? Or do I accept that my voluptuousness is part of who I am, stand up straight and push my boobs proudly forward??
Maybe today I will stand tall and see how it goes….